Existential Kink Exercise

This is just the exercise from the Part 3 Shadow Workshop recording, by itself.

Note: this is a relatively fast paced run through the exercise. I recommend that you give yourself more time for each step, as needed.

I also recommend that you do work like this in a darkened room, perhaps with candle light. Either in silence or with some primal drum beats type of music.

Exercise Steps

The basic Existential Kink practice follows these steps:

1. Take a deep breath, relax and come to the present moment.
2. Identify a “don’t like” situation in your life - some recurring frustration, something you don’t want, but it keeps happening and causes you suffering.
3. What are the emotions that go with your “don’t like” situation? What is the emotional drama that you keep playing out?
4. What might be secretly enjoyable about this situation, about these emotions? Is there any part of you that gets kinky, exciting enjoyment out of this drama?
5. Fully allow yourself to experience the physical sensations of this emotional drama. Allow yourself to enjoy it, revel in it. Let go of inhibitions that tell you that you shouldn’t enjoy such a “bad thing”.
6. Let the emotional excitement fade, slow your breathing, come back to the present moment and end the session.

In the book, there are many more exercises you can use to explore your “don’t like” situations more deeply and get in touch with the parts of you that enjoy them.